Send Out A Search Party

Just kidding about sending out a search party but in all seriousness it’s been way too long since I’ve written a blog…I mean its been almost 3 weeks! I know you’re all dying to know what I’ve been up to since I’ve been MIA (kidding) so I’m going to update you!

Wes went in for his second pulmonologist appointment and I’m happy to say that his inhaler has improved his breathing tremendously, he also had to have an allergy test which came back that he has NO allergies. The allergy test was a hard one for me, not only did I have to watch him get pricked 11 times but my anxiety was through the roof because 1…I was at the hospital(see PTSD post) and 2…what if he was allergic to my dogs…I would hate to have to re-home Wes…kidding…kind of haha! I sat and cried all 15 minutes of the test and every nurse that came in I asked how the dog one looked, I’m pretty sure they all thought I was nuts but again I am happy to say Wes has NO allergies and can continue to live here!

Back to the whole PTSD thing…the hospital is a hard one for me and Wes’ last appointment there was actually on the anniversary of the weekend I had him. I’m not sure if describing this is going to make me sound crazy to people who don’t understand or haven’t experienced a full blown panic attack but being there on that Friday where the hospital looked the same, the air felt the same sent me into a tail spin of emotions. That day I told myself that I needed to go to his appointment alone because I’m not going to let a stupid building run my life, well, I’m an idiot and paid for it. For the rest of that day I was in this weird fog, after crying in the Dr.’s office about the worry of Wes being allergic to the dogs I continued my crying into the parking lot and than into my car. It hit me, everything hit me, the memories, the feelings…I sat in my car for a while because I hate crying or letting other people see me cry and my Dad was at my house babysitting Connor while I took Wes so I tried to gather myself before going back home. After getting back home everything was slow moving, it was hard for me to think or even move…clearly I did, because I have two kids to take care of but if I’m being completely honest a lot of that day I don’t remember. It took me the rest of the day to come out of that and I’m pretty sure it would have lingered longer had we not had a million things going on that weekend, which I will count as a blessing in disguise. This little blurb may seem left kinda open because I’m still working on how to deal with this and what it means to have PTSD and so far writing and letting people in has been huge in my healing so I apologize if sometimes you read this and go “wait, why did she end it like that?”

Now onto something a little more light hearted like I said that weekend was insanely busy! We had two Easter egg hunts on Saturday which was so fun to see good friends and watch Connor somewhat get the concept of a Egg hunt…Wes spent most of his time sitting in the grass!IMG_6839Remember how I said Connor kind of got the concept of the Easter egg hunt……IMG_7179he found what he would probably call the “golden egg” filled with a bag of fruit snacks, after that, all he wanted to do was eat the fruit snacks and was over finding eggs…I don’t think I could describe my kid more accurately than the picture above!

 

 

Insanely grateful for these women that I get to call my friends!IMG_6847Our second egg hunt was a blast as well! Connor thought playing on the swing set would be way more fun than finding eggs(this damn kid) but it was so fun to see more good friends!IMG_7181Pissed off I made him look for eggs….IMG_6861Wes with his bestie sitting in the grass…IMG_6863

A shout out to Emily and Ashley for having us at your egg hunts! We had a blast!

Onto Sunday… Wes’ first birthday! How is he already a year?!?! When people say life goes by so much faster with your second they mean it! I feel like it was just yesterday he was born! We decided to keep his first birthday somewhat small and just had family and close friends over at our house to celebrate!IMG_6947

 

 

I may or may not have ended the night with drinking a little too much “mommy juice” and ordering $83 worth of White Castle through Door Dash for who was left at the party! #whoops #yolo #dontjudge SIDE NOTE: Door Dash is a delivery game changer and if you haven’t already signed up, do it now! They deliver from tons of different restaurants! Here’s the link if anyone is interested! —>Door Dash

We spent all last week with the boys being sick…first Wes was sick and than Connor caught his cold(isn’t that how it always happens?) Wes had his one year checkup! He weighs 28 pounds and is almost 32 inches long…at one years old…(I know,he’s so tiny)<—sarcasm. He is now officially off bottles and formula and walking! Again, time slow down please…IMG_7043

For Easter this year we did our annual Pinstripes brunch with my family! We played bocce ball and bowled. Connor was obsessed with the bunny…

The bunny was forced to play bocce ball IMG_7090

The bunny was forced to bowl…

 

 

 

 

The bunny was basically forced to be Connor’s new best friend…IMG_7109

It was a good but busy day!

 

 

That pretty much all I got and sums up my last couple of weeks!

I hope you all had a good Easter!!! Thank you for reading and continuing to support me and this blog!!!!

Nena & Co AKA The Purse Cult

Welcome back! I want to start by saying thank you from the bottom of my heart for the overwhelming love and support I received from my last blog. I was considering not even publishing it so to have gotten that kind of reaction means a lot! I figured I would go for something a little bit more light hearted this time around and talk about something I absolutely love….fashion!

A Facebook ad had popped up for a company called Nena & Co while I was scrolling through my feed, I decided to click into it and down the rabbit hole I went. I have always loved bags so this shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone! Nena & Co is a company based out of Utah…the cool thing is all the bags are handmade in Guatemala! Here’s a little paragraph off of their “about me” section on their website:

“Visits to her mother’s homeland became an adventurous addiction as Ali and her mother/business partner, Cony, began tracking down the country’s best weavers and sourcing vintage Huipils (fabrics used for Nena & Co.’s one-of-a-kind bags). As the mother-daughter duo ventured into the textile business, they learned of the rigorous and ancient methods of traditional Guatemalan weaving. The more they learned, the more they realized it was necessary to honor the men and women they worked with by creating more reliable opportunities for them to earn a decent income through traditional weaving and leather craftsmanship. Nena & Co. is dedicated to paying fair wages, designing products that pay tribute to the beauty of the hand-loomed textiles, and to only using quality materials and craftsmanship to assemble products.”

To say these bags are beautiful is an understatement! I have felt more and more like a hoarder since finding this company! The crazy thing is…it’s like the hunger games of shopping. Chances are if you check out their website after reading this blog everything is going to say “sold out” they do what they call drops every Friday at 7am and 7pm PST and everything sells out within 10 minutes. I have been lucky enough to buy some things off of their website because competitive shopping is my favorite(don’t judge) but I’ve also bought some things off of Facebook’s Nena buy, sell,trade groups which has been a fun little community to find. I believe because of what Nena stands for that a lot of their customers believe in the same values…that they want to show kindness and empower other women. It probably sounds so crazy because its just a Facebook group but the kindness I’ve seen in these groups is unlike any other! Here’s a picture of how I bribed my kids with food so I was able score an amazing bag and get them to leave me alone for a few minutes:

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and than one night I had to distract my husband:

IMG_6713This habit escalated quickly…..

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I also just purchased a pair of huarache loafers from Mikoleon Kids, this company is owned by Ali’s (owner of Nena) mom and sometimes the two of them do really fun collaborations! I cannot wait to get these! I’m sure I’ll be writing another blog about them in the future!fullsizeoutput_17

I’ll leave the links here for both sites:

Nena & Co

Mikoleon Kids

Hope you enjoy and happy shopping!!! ❤

 

PTSD is not just for soldiers

This blog is a hard one for me to write…if I’m being honest, I’m not even sure where to start. This past week has been a hard one that has forced me to face demons that I was perfectly content ignoring until the end of time.

Let me start with a little back story.(I’ll try to keep it simple but there is a lot)..I got pregnant in February of 2015 with Connor, I feel like I expected to have morning sickness because it comes with the territory right? You get pregnant….puke for the first trimester…..have a blissful second trimester….than by the third trimester you’re nesting and ready to meet this sweet bundle of joy. Unfortunately this wasn’t the case for me. I puked all day, everyday no matter what I ate. I pushed through the first trimester hoping that it would go away but eventually had to quit my job doing hair because I physically couldn’t stand there for long periods of time without feeling like I was going to be sick. This was hard for me, I loved my job, my coworkers, and especially my clients! I became a stay at home dog mom at 20 weeks pregnant up until we had Connor on November 1, 2015.

Connor was born at 37 weeks and his blood sugar levels were low which led to him having to spend a week in the NICU to make sure he was ok to go home. Let me tell you, no one has a baby and expects not to go home with them. That was probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. We were lucky that it was only a week and I was constantly told how he was too big and healthy to be there. The NICU nurses were absolute angels and I will never be able to fully express how grateful I am for the laughs and love they provided in that week.IMG_7311After a couple weeks of being home I started to have terrible back pain, like crippling back pain…to the point I couldn’t even hold Connor. I eventually went to the ER and after 8 hours of being there they said that I had small gallstones and needed to see a gastro Dr. I ended up making an appointment for who they referred me to and the soonest I could get in was 3 weeks and the issue with my back had seemed to calm down so I totally thought I could wait….cue God laughing. Long story short I ended up having a huge attack which led to me being insanely sick. I was seen the next day (Monday) and was told that I needed to have my gallbladder out either Tuesday or Thursday of THAT WEEK. You can only imagine my panic as I’m 4 weeks postpartum (a week of that spent in the NICU with my sick baby) and now myself has to have surgery…oh did I mention besides as a infant I have never had any sort of surgery in my life….(I hope you can feel me eye-rolling  as I write this!) I had the surgery and was told that was more than likely the cause of all my sickness while being pregnant. I was hopeful that my next pregnancy would be NOTHING like my last…

After deciding to sell our condo and buy our forever home in the town I grew up in we decided to try again for baby #2 when Connor was 8 months old because, well….Connor took 6 months to conceive so that would make them 2 years apart…cue God laughing again. Well folks, it took ONE try, I was about to have two under two (a term my brother in law loves, just ask him haha!) I spent that entire pregnancy once again being sick, just this time I got to chase around a toddler as well. We welcomed Weston into the world on March 25, 2017 leaving the boys just UNDER 17 months apart. Do you hear the circus music I’m always hearing in my head? (see first blog if you don’t get this joke) IMG_2032

Weston’s delivery messed me up bad. As you can tell in this picture I look like death and its not because I had just pushed out a baby but because I was actually dying. My placenta decided not to detach after I had delivered Wes leaving the doctor to manually go in and try to “detach” it. Yep, it’s just as gross as it sounds. After what felt like an eternity but really it was closer to 45 minutes they finally got it all out…or so they thought. I continued to bleed for the next hour (even while the picture above was being taken) the nurses and Dr.’s all remained calm while they weighed the amount of blood I was loosing and continually checking on me to see if it had stopped. I never once felt like anything was wrong and I can thank God’s protection for that. All the sudden I got light headed and felt sick, next thing I knew a bunch of nurses and Dr.’s were running around my room getting things ready and my Dr. comes up to me and explains to me what is going on and that I was going to have to go into the operating room and they were going to look for the piece of the placenta that they assumed was still inside and the cause of all my blood loss. I was told if they couldn’t get it manually again that I would have to have a DNC and if they couldn’t stop the bleeding with that than I was going to have a hysterectomy, a hysterectomy at 29 years old. I knew I was done having kids but there is something about signing that paper that made it all so surreal. Luckily they were able to get in manually and I didn’t have to go through any of the other procedures(shoutout to Dr. Gail Gerber for saving my life and my uterus) sorry I have to add some humor in all this otherwise I’m pretty sure I’ll loose readers with this heavy blog. I ended up loosing almost half my blood and needed two blood transfusions but in the end of it I was ok and so was Wes. We all resumed our new normal as a family of 4.

After I had Connor I would always look at the women and children’s building at St. Alexius where all of this had happened and I would get a weird pit in my stomach, it was never overwhelming but I would find myself counting floors because I knew the NICU was floor 4, mother and baby was 5, and floor 6 was where labor and delivery is.I can still to this day picture our “view” from Connors window in the NICU. I never really thought anything of it until I had Wes and my traumatic birth with him. I no longer could look at the hospital, if I looked at the 6th floor I would get sick to my stomach and remember smells and everything that happened there. I always felt it was kind of silly especially because I’m not a overly emotional person so in true Sarah fashion I just pushed it deep down and pretended like it didn’t exist until one day it was so big I couldn’t ignore it. To make a long story short I ended up going to talk to someone and was diagnosed with PTSD.

This was a hard diagnosis for me. When I think of PTSD, I think of soldiers, I think of people who were abused and here I was just a woman who had two pregnancies and births that were very different but both traumatic in their own way. I never realized how much I struggled with not being able to bring Connor home that first week or how scary it was when my placenta didn’t detach.

Now that the longest back story is over…that brings us to this week. Sunday we went to church and decided to go to my in laws after. As I was walking up to their house I somehow tripped on absolutely nothing but grass and concrete while holding Wes. I somehow managed to throw myself onto the concrete and Wes into the grass but there is nothing like good ole mom guilt. Wes seemed fine but was fussy. We stayed at my in laws for a few hours and than decided to go home. Usually Wes is a kid who calms down in the car but instead he was getting progressively worse and crying unlike I had ever heard him cry before. We decided it was best to take him to the ER and just make sure he was ok. Do you feel my panic? Remember that whole PTSD thing? Thank God my sister in law offered to come over and watch Connor so it was one less thing we had to worry about.

As we drove up to the hospitals campus I started balling my eyes out…anyone who knows me will tell you I’m not a cryer and here I am sobbing because I have to go into a hospital. That was the first time I really felt the weight of my PTSD. Luckily the ER wasn’t busy and we were able to be taken back to a room pretty quickly!

Wes was a total trooper and luckily nothing was wrong with him! The Dr. did notice his wheezing which has been a constant battle with my current pediatrician who didn’t seem to be concerned with it and telling me it’s probably asthma, yet no asthma medications have worked. After the ER Dr. heard that he decided to refer us to a pulmonologist and hopefully we will start to get some answers and Wes can start to feel better.

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The pulmonologist’s office is in St. Alexius. We already had our first appointment with them since our ER visit on Sunday and days leading up to this appointment all I could feel was panic. Even writing that out it sounds so dramatic yet the feelings are so real. Like I said earlier I don’t think I ever really fully felt the weight of all this until this past week. I believe God has a plan in sending me back into that building to help my baby and am praying by the end of all of this that, that building, will be just that, a building. A building where I birthed my babies, where I met amazing nurses and Dr.’s who truly love their jobs and the people they are there to help.

If you have gotten this far in this blog you are a saint and now know a whole lot about me. I feel like there are so many people out there who struggle after having children and yet never talk about it. I hope and pray in writing this and being vulnerable(not something I do often) that I bring some light to that darkness. IMG_6610

As always, thank you for reading this and supporting me! ❤

Date Box

OMG! A second blog post! If you’re reading this that means my first one wasn’t a total bust….or it was that bad that you’re back to watch the train wreck part 2! Either way welcome back!

So on Valentines day Brandon surprised me with a subscription to Date Box. Basically you fill out a couple questions and what you like to do as a couple or where you’re at in your relationship and they send you a date once a month that they created for you to do as a couple.IMG_6313

In true Sarah and Brandon fashion….this date took us 3 separate times to “complete”. Our date was to make homemade soft pretzels with a dipping sauce and play Jenga with a truth or dare twist.

Attempt 1: We put the boys to bed than opened our date box to start our date only to realize we don’t have all the ingredients for the dipping sauce. Cue Peapod delivery order( yes I order Peapod, no I don’t have time to grocery shop nor the desire to pack up two small kids to go buy groceries) I could write a whole blog on how life changing grocery delivery is….but back on topic….

Attempt 2: Again, put the boys to bed and are ready to make our pretzels. We start prepping everything and listening to our Spotify love tunes mix. Everything is going well except that the directions they provided weren’t exactly clear and lets be real here I’m not much of a cook or baker so it only makes making these that much more interesting. We end up making the dough and instead of adding a teaspoon of regular salt we end up adding about a cup of kosher salt into our dough instead(again the instructions weren’t clear, don’t judge) we than get to the step where it tells us to let the dough sit for ONE HOUR so it can rise…it’s now 8:30 at night and neither of us have had dinner and we’re suppose to wait ONE HOUR….so of course I went and got Taco Bell for us because let’s be honest Tacos>Soft Pretzels. After indulging way more than we should in all of Taco Bell’s goodness (sorry weight watchers) we went to look at our dough that never rose……IMG_6393

Attempt 3: The FINAL attempt! Brandon got home from work at a decent hour so we decided to attempt this while our children were awake. We realized that we were NOT suppose to add the kosher salt…let alone that much and that’s why our dough never rose, lesson learned. We still decided to try it because we paid for this damn box and were going to make it work (insert facepalm)…also where are my emojis when I need them! Anyway! Brandon was ready to roll the dough where we than realized we had no flour for the counter, so Brandon being Brandon pulled out cornstarch…all I could think was “who the hell let’s us try these things together?” I basically let Brandon take over at this point and got the boys some dinner so they would be occupied during all of this chaos. In the words of my husband “I’ve seen Auntie Anne’s roll pretzels a million times, how hard can it be?”( see picture below) IMG_6403yep…..they look just like Auntie Anne’s pretzels….

In a matter of 5 minutes both boys were covered in Mac and Cheese, I mean really who decides to try a date with two small children…I’m sure the dogs enjoyed all the food that was dropped while I wasn’t paying attention.IMG_6402The pretzels were done and they were the saltiest, most disgusting soft pretzel I’m pretty sure I’ve ever had in my life. We laughed a ton about how ridiculous the whole process was but how much fun it was to joke around and have to do something like that together.  We put the boys to bed and played our Jenga game and just continued to spend much needed time together. I’m sure after reading this its going to come as a shock but I’m actually excited to get our next date box and what kind of adventure it’s going to bring on and who knows maybe it will only take one attempt!

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I’ll leave the Date Box link here in case anyone wants to give it a try!!!

http://datebox.me/hHjgb

As always thanks again for reading!

Welcome!

Well the time has finally come for me to start a blog! After being “encouraged” aka bullied by my friends to start one, I have decided to bite the bullet and give this whole blogging thing a whirl. Since this is my first blog I thought it would be fun to do a little about me!

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-My name is Sarah and I am 30 (almost wrote 29, wishful thinking I suppose) years old.

-I have been married to my husband Brandon for 4 years but we have been together for 14.

-I have two boys Connor (2 years old) Weston (10 months) .

-I have 3 dogs that I am obsessed with.23592054_10155292943292017_2933355562411655999_o

-The only time you’ll ever see me competitive is if it has to do with shopping.

-I have a weird sense of humor and can thank my husband for that

-Writing about yourself is harder than you think….

– I did hair for almost 10 years before I had my boys, now I am a stay at home mom.

-I love people and getting to know their stories…some may call that nosey(whoops)

-Throughout the day I constantly hear circus music in my head because my life is basically a circus.23847147_10155321590992017_2840035464287440175_o

-I have a Cricut and love crafting

-I go to the gym to get 2 hours away from my kids…literally hate working out.

-I am a practicing Christian who loves Jesus but also has a potty mouth (I’m working on it.)

-I picked the name Mommy & Monsters because my children are monsters(just kidding, kinda) but no really it’s because I drink a Monster a day to get me going and to handle my real life monsters! No need to tell me how monsters are going to give me a heart attack, pretty sure I’ve heard it all on how bad they are for my health(insert eye roll).

Thats all I have for now, I’m sure as I continue to write you will get to know me more…or this will be totally lame and you’ll question why you keep coming back, either way thank you for reading this!